Being Visible

Hello all,

Did you know? Today is Bisexuality Visibility Day. It’s a day to recognize and celebrate bisexual, pansexual, and other queer identifying people and their contributions to society. And don’t feel bad if you didn’t know – I didn’t know either until I got an email from my company’s LGBTQ-A diversity network. Which I guess is odd, since (as you may have figured out by now), I identify as bisexual.

I’ve been going back and forth on whether or not I wanted to write this post. For me, my bisexual identity has always just kind of been a non-issue. I didn’t tell my parents until a few years after I really knew, but not because I felt like they wouldn’t accept me, on the contrary it was because I knew they would. I’m VERY lucky to have grown up in a super accepting family, to the extent that I didn’t realize how much homophobia was a “thing” until like.. college. Since I’m not in a relationship, and therefore I can kind of “hide,” I’ve always kind of thought it just didn’t matter. But more and more I’m realizing the importance of being “out.” As I start to meet more people in person and online who are part of the pride community, I realize that what I personally want more than lgbtq celebrities and representation in tv, movies, books etc. (that’s all great too!) is just connection with “normal” people living their lives with these identities. Especially being in a more traditionally conservative field (insurance) I think it’s been important for me to just see people being out and it’s just another thing about them. So if I want that, maybe I can be that for others. I’ve tried to be more “open” about my identity in person and on social media, not necessarily “coming out” in big, showy ways but just like including it in normal conversations. Like, for example, this post where I talked about pride and showed bisexual and asexual pride flags. And if you made the assumption that I was bi and ace during that post great, cause it’s true! I didn’t say it explicitly but I also wasn’t hiding it. I also really liked this article that was shared with me today which talks about just normalizing bisexual+ identities more.

One of the things that I really liked about #biweek is the inclusion of other identities like pansexual, queer, and fluid that don’t fit into the traditional “lesbian” and “gay” categories. My opinion on labels is that people should just call themselves whatever makes sense to them. I use bi because it’s kind of what I heard first and it jives with me, but I’ve heard people say that “bisexual” is kind of exclusionary because there are more than two genders. And sure, I get that. But to me, I kind of think of bi as attraction to both people that are the same gender as me and also that are other genders.

I’m not going to pretend I’ve got it right in how I think about my identity, and even though I’m getting more comfortable with it, I can’t pretend it’s not scary to publish this. As with any LGBTQ+ identity, I know there are people who think I’m a horrible person and a sinner just because of this identity. And even within the community, there’s a lot of misconception, silencing, and general “gross-ness” towards bi people. So if that’s you and you don’t want to follow this blog anymore, I get it (I mean, I don’t, but like… I’m not surprised). You can quietly show yourself out, thanks. I’ll get back to regularly scheduled knitting content soon but this is still me.

Anyway, happy Bi Visibility Day to my fellow amazing bi+ humans! I’m going to celebrate by packing that kit for the Joy mitts on my staycation this weekend and try to work on those.

Peace,

Kath

💙💜💗