Being Visible

Two yarns with the bisexual pride flag colors (pink, purple, blue) sitting on a. bi pride flag.
Some bi-themed yarns – on the left is Merry & Mae, on the right is a kit for the Joy Mitts from Ysolda Teauge

Hello all,

Did you know? Today is Bisexuality Visibility Day. It’s a day to recognize and celebrate bisexual, pansexual, and other queer identifying people and their contributions to society. And don’t feel bad if you didn’t know – I didn’t know either until I got an email from my company’s LGBTQ-A diversity network. Which I guess is odd, since (as you may have figured out by now), I identify as bisexual.

I’ve been going back and forth on whether or not I wanted to write this post. For me, my bisexual identity has always just kind of been a non-issue. I didn’t tell my parents until a few years after I really knew, but not because I felt like they wouldn’t accept me, on the contrary it was because I knew they would. I’m VERY lucky to have grown up in a super accepting family, to the extent that I didn’t realize how much homophobia was a “thing” until like.. college. Since I’m not in a relationship, and therefore I can kind of “hide,” I’ve always kind of thought it just didn’t matter. But more and more I’m realizing the importance of being “out.” As I start to meet more people in person and online who are part of the pride community, I realize that what I personally want more than lgbtq celebrities and representation in tv, movies, books etc. (that’s all great too!) is just connection with “normal” people living their lives with these identities. Especially being in a more traditionally conservative field (insurance) I think it’s been important for me to just see people being out and it’s just another thing about them. So if I want that, maybe I can be that for others. I’ve tried to be more “open” about my identity in person and on social media, not necessarily “coming out” in big, showy ways but just like including it in normal conversations. Like, for example, this post where I talked about pride and showed bisexual and asexual pride flags. And if you made the assumption that I was bi and ace during that post great, cause it’s true! I didn’t say it explicitly but I also wasn’t hiding it. I also really liked this article that was shared with me today which talks about just normalizing bisexual+ identities more.

One of the things that I really liked about #biweek is the inclusion of other identities like pansexual, queer, and fluid that don’t fit into the traditional “lesbian” and “gay” categories. My opinion on labels is that people should just call themselves whatever makes sense to them. I use bi because it’s kind of what I heard first and it jives with me, but I’ve heard people say that “bisexual” is kind of exclusionary because there are more than two genders. And sure, I get that. But to me, I kind of think of bi as attraction to both people that are the same gender as me and also that are other genders.

I’m not going to pretend I’ve got it right in how I think about my identity, and even though I’m getting more comfortable with it, I can’t pretend it’s not scary to publish this. As with any LGBTQ+ identity, I know there are people who think I’m a horrible person and a sinner just because of this identity. And even within the community, there’s a lot of misconception, silencing, and general “gross-ness” towards bi people. So if that’s you and you don’t want to follow this blog anymore, I get it (I mean, I don’t, but like… I’m not surprised). You can quietly show yourself out, thanks. I’ll get back to regularly scheduled knitting content soon but this is still me.

Anyway, happy Bi Visibility Day to my fellow amazing bi+ humans! I’m going to celebrate by packing that kit for the Joy mitts on my staycation this weekend and try to work on those.

Peace,

Kath

💙💜💗

Image courtesy of GLADD

21 Comments Add yours

  1. Alissa Head says:

    I love your blog and that you are sharing your identity with us. My husband and I have 7 kids altogether from previous marriages. Two are bi, two are transgender, and one is gender fluid, so it’s a very normal part of our life, although I’m still learning the best ways to be supportive. I like that you just want to have normal interactions with likeminded friends because, hey! It’s normal! You know what’s hard to find? Trans Pride sock yarn. I did find a couple of offerings on Etsy, but I was surprised I didn’t find more. I hope you have a wonderful staycation!

    Like

    1. Thanks Alissa! Your kids are so lucky to have you in their life.
      Have you seen Fully Spun? she has a whole bunch of identity themed yarn, including trans pride. https://fullyspun.com/collections/pride-collection/products/transgender-pride-postscript-fingering

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Alissa Head says:

        Ooh, thanks! I will check it out!

        Like

  2. Thank you for sharing and for being your wonderful self! Happy Bi Visibility Day, and have a great staycation 🙂

    Like

    1. Thank you so much Marilee!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you, Kath! 🙂

        Like

  3. Cinna Knits says:

    Way to keep normalizing non-cis/hetero existence! Even something as simple as speaking our truths makes a huge impact.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You are awesome and brave and have great taste in colors, employment fields, and college majors. I’m so glad I’ve gotten to know you though blogging. Thank you for sharing with us. You are a great part of Blogville.

    Like

    1. 😃 Thank you so so much Sarah! I’m really glad I’ve gotten to know you as well

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Julia says:

    Congratulations on “your” 😉 day!!! I am so happy for you that it wasn’t a big thing in your family, this is how it should be. Sending you a big hug, and I agree with the others, the world is colourful and amazing and – as a theologian – God loves you (you know that). People who say otherwise didn’t get the message.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Julia! Yes growing up in a United Church of Christ church (mainline Protestant over here in the US) which has a long history of advocating for LGBT rights definitely helped my ability to be open and brave about this and know that God definitely doesn’t care and loves me just as I am

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Kat L. says:

    Thank you for sharing and happy Bisexuality Visibility Day!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Happy (belated now) Bi Day! I agree, I think we need to normalize being out in all forms. I’ve always identified as cis/hetero, but I think if there had been more normalized gender and sexuality “options” (for lack of a better word) discussed when I was younger I might not identify that way. For example, I think I might be demi, but I’ve gone so long without that as part of my identity that at this point I don’t really know how to explore that.

    Also? I adore those yarns. Looking forward to seeing what you make with them!

    Like

    1. Thanks Nicole!
      Yes it definitely is good to see other identities and how people label themselves. Like the whole demi/ gray/ ace spectrum I learned about when I was a bit older too so it took some time for sure to figure out if that applies. The cool thing about labels we give ourselves is that we should leave them open for change as we grow and learn

      Like

      1. That’s very true! We grow as people, and our labels should be able to grow and change with us.

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Katie says:

    I’m so glad you wrote this post! I had no idea there was a day devoted to Bisexual Visibility, so thank you for sharing about it. People’s identities are so complicated and it’s hard to really dig into one’s own and share it with the world – thank you for being brave enough to write about yours. I love how openly you’ve normalized your own identity – I have to imagine that sometimes you worry about whether it’s safe to do so… I’m so glad that you’ve found a space here!

    Like

  9. bonnyknits says:

    Thank you for sharing! I’m glad you feel safe enough to do it in this space. I do think it’s tremendously helpful to have people who normalize the options beyond cis/hetero, and like you said, to be able to see them as just normal people doing normal things. I’m grateful for voices like yours!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Well done on this post I think that it is super brave! I definitely wouldn’t be unfollowing you! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Stefanie says:

    I commend you on your bravery in writing and publishing this post. You are amazing and there is a lot I need to learn about LGBTQ+ identity. I’m so happy for you too that your parents had/has your back unconditionally.

    Like

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